Old and New

   This is an interesting time, last weekend most of my oldest and dearest friends moved back home and this weekend I will meet many people who I will come to know and love almost as much. I seem to be caught in the midst of things that I do not understand. Time keeps proceeding forward moving us down the paths God has chosen for us, and even though many of our lives are intertwined(some to the very core) that does not mean we will always be together. We may share our lives and our hearts with whoever we want however much we please, but there is no power, no ability in us to keep them with us. But we don't really want to, we want the very best for them no matter what, trying to keep them is just a way of settling for good, maybe even great, but neither is best. So we say "Goodbye" but it is never "goodbye" always "until we meet again", and we will meet again whether it is a few months, years, decades(hopefully not) from now, no matter when it happens, it will happen and that will be a very joyous reunion.
   Knowing we will be together again does soften the blow, but it still hurts so much. For me it is strange, I feel the pain, I recognize the urge to cry to somehow show what is going on inside of me. To say that "Yes, no matter how cold I seem, no matter how heartless, and empty I am. I still hurt deeply when sadness strikes." I hear often about how painful love is, how the pain is great, yet it's dwarfed by the joy that is brought, though at times it is good to feel the pain. I can feel pain, I do it very well, but I am even better at masking it, shoving the pain into a deep dark corner that even though I say is there and try to show it to others, somehow it always avoids detection. I wish I knew the pain of love, I think that will help me become complete. I am sure Jesus very keenly felt all the pain He bore on the Cross for us, yet maybe because He knew the pain so well, He was able to see the joy so very much clearer and the helped resolve His will to finish what He came to do.
   I can see the sun starting to come out from behind the clouds though. Because this weekend, many great new friends will be met for the first time. I do not know for certain what lies ahead of me for the days and years ahead, but I am sure of one thing, I will not be facing them alone. My God never leaves me or forsakes me. My dear friends, brothers and sisters, who are so many miles away, Bah what are miles? They mean nothing to us, true I may not be able to touch them, but I can touch their hearts and they mine. I have older friends who I knew and forgot, but am now at a place to reestablish our friendships and let them grow deeper in ground that is both old and new. And I have physical brothers and sisters,while our relationships may not look like what you'd expect, they are good.
   So I say bring on the new challenges and trials. I am not afraid, I have been made ready and prepared for these coming days. The days will likely be long and hard, but the best things in life are almost never handed to you on a silver platter, you must go, work, and succeed.